In our every day lives it is believed that for any person to be successful what matters most is their level of intelligence, talent and even luck. But various studies shows that intelligence and talent play only a small part in predicting a person’s achievement or success in life. The major role is played by what is call ‘grit’ or ‘mental toughness’. People who can keep themselves focused and are continuously pushing themselves to achieve long term goals despite all the setbacks are said to be mentally tough.
In our life, we our confronted with unexpected challenges. Some people can handle those challenges well, but some people feel overwhelmed by them. Handling failures and bouncing back by adapting to the circumstances is one of the main characteristics of a mentally tough person.
Our certified counselors and psychologists in Singapore are able to help you develop mentally tough and resilient disposition through sheer hard work, self-exploration, therapy and coaching. It can be tremendously helpful to be resilient and tough in the modern day world.
Affordable Therapy for Mental Toughness in Singapore
Mental toughness can be defined as the ability to stay strong and to keep oneself focus and determined despite of all the difficulties and adversities. A research study states that a mentally tough individual sees challenging and adverse situation as an opportunity and not threat and he takes them in his stride positively and confidently (Strycharczyk, 2015).
According to Turner (2017), the four traits that in combination can be a key to success are the 4C’s, which are:
- Control- extent to which a person is in control of his circumstances.
- Commitment- extent to which person can go to set and then achieve his goals.
- Challenge – extent to which a person sees every challenge as an opportunity and accept risks related to it.
- Confidence- extent to which a person believes in his abilities and capabilities.
We live in a demanding world which is unpredictable, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous. When events like pandemic comes into our life, we must adapt ourselves to it for a prolonged period in ways we may not like. This adaptability tells us whether we thrive, survive, or succumb to such circumstances. Mentally tough individuals tend to have fewer negative emotions in stressful situations and shows more coping skills. Based on this Huddersfield research study cited that mental toughness has potentially helped people during pandemic. They have put conscious effort to work towards eliminating the habits that gets in the way of their natural strength and resilience.
We tend to look up to people who are successful and have accomplished something in life. We forget that we all possess mental toughness, just to different degrees. Habits that people with lesser degree of mental toughness possess and needs to be worked upon for better functioning and coping skills are:
- Negative thinking- feeling helpless, out of control when faced with a problem instead of problem solving. They worry and ruminate over things.
- Punishing themselves to motivate- negative self-talk, self-judgement and criticizing oneself.
- Focusing on outcomes rather than growth- valuing your self-worth and handing over the control of your identity on external circumstances.
- Not making time for yourself- not understanding your thoughts, emotions, and feelings which in turn effect their long-term goals.
The rise in suicide cases among youth of Singapore is a concerning topic especially in times of Pandemic. Our focus is always on the detection and diagnosis of mental illnesses instead on precautionary measures that can be taken to prevent it. Building resilience in younger generation should be our priority. This can help them to withstand, prepare and face adversities in their lives. In our culture, we emphasise a lot on success overlooking mental health as a cost of it. Still, most of the people think as having mental health issues as a sign of weakness. This shows that its even more important to teach them about mental health and especially resilience and mental toughness so that they can help themselves and are more prepared to teach the same to their younger generation.
The topic of nature vs nurture has always been debatable. When applied to metal toughness, we can say that for some people it comes quite naturally where genes play a role, but this is something that can also be learned and strengthened over time (Lin et al, 2017). This is where mental toughness counselling is beneficial. It guides a person by learning to change his emotions by changing his thoughts. Feeling and behaviours that motivate us to move forward the obstacles are acknowledged and evaluated. This can help us achieve peak performance in various areas of life. Developing this skill is not about eliminating weakness but learning how to deal with it and overcome it. When we focus on the right things then we can become worthy of facing life’s biggest challenges.
Some of the warning signs of lack of mental toughness and resilient:
- Losing one’s temper on minor events
- Easily getting irritated.
- Inflexibility to adapting to other person’s ideas
- Expressing anger in an aggressive manner like violence or raising voice
- Easily discouraged
- Lack of motivation
- Difficulty maintaining determination
- Not completing project
- Easily discouraged
- General negativity
Several research studies have explored the effectiveness of therapies for develop toughness and resilient, especially using methods such as behavioral activation, exposure response training, and Neurolingustic Programming (NLP), among other methods.
Types of Mental Toughness Problems
Chronic Giving Up
Individuals who struggles chronically in giving up when faced with adversity shows strong signs for lack of mental toughness. When faced with challenges, the individual would feel that they prefer to give up or not try; as opposed to facing the hardship of taking on the challenge.
Lack Energy and Determination
People with passive anger may have difficulty expressing their feelings of anger and instead subtly expresses these negative feelings through their behaviours instead of handling them directly. An individual may not even be aware that he or she is feeling angry. Instead, the anger gets misdirected as sarcasm, spite, or apathy towards the person or situation that they are angry about.
For example, a girlfriend may be feeling upset over something her boyfriend did earlier in the day. Instead of addressing the emotion, she may simply reply with “I’m fine” even though she feels quite the contrary. She may also become increasingly spiteful and act out in ways that sabotage the relationship such as ignoring his texts or not speaking to him.
Individuals who experience aggressive anger express anger in unhealthy or destructive ways. Some unhealthy or destructive ways of expressing anger include using aggression, violent tendencies, abusive language, passive-aggressive behaviour, and retaliatory actions. At times, individuals who exhibit aggressive anger may also experience ‘rage’, which is a full-on, uncontrollable expression of anger.
Individuals with aggressive anger may not experience anger easily, but when they do, it is usually an unpleasant experience for the people around them.
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) is the most severe type of the anger management problem among all.
An individual is diagnosed with IED when he or she experiences sudden episodes of aggressive or violent behaviour that are marked by episodes of unwarranted threat or danger. Individuals with IED may experience verbal or physical aggression towards people or things, twice a week (on average) for a period of at least three months.
IED is a serious problem as it may result in harm to others or the destruction of property.
Impact And Consequences of Anger Management Problems
Anger management problems can have negative consequences on both the individual and the others around. Chronic anger may lead to health problems such as frequent headaches, digestive problems, fatigue, or increased risk of heart disease. It can also lead to other mental disorders such as depression and anxiety.
If not managed properly, anger management problems can exert detrimental impacts on relationships at home and at work. Thus, it is important for us to learn how to control our anger effectively.
Anger Management Treatment and Therapy in Singapore
When you seek professional help for anger management in Singapore, your treatment is likely to consist of the following techniques and strategies. These strategies are likely to work hand in hand in forming a comprehensive treatment plan to help you experience and express your anger in healthier ways.
Cognitive-behavioural therapy is a structured therapy approach based on the idea that our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours are interconnected. The process of cognitive-behavioural therapy helps individuals identify their triggers towards anger, which are specific situations in which they frequently experience anger.
The therapist and client will then work together to explore and change the thoughts and emotions that are associated with these situations. Through the process, cognitive-behavioural therapy helps the client to identify inaccurate, negative thought patterns that drive their feelings of anger, and reinterpret them with more appropriate and healthy thoughts to manage their negative emotions.
Simple relaxation techniques such as breathing exercises and visual imagery can help individuals to calm themselves down when they are feeling angry. The practice and implementation of relaxation techniques complement cognitive-behavioural therapy in the treatment of anger management issues.
Stress Inoculation Training
Stress Inoculation Training is a form of psychotherapy method that helps individuals prepare themselves in advance to handle stressful events successfully. This structured form of therapy may include muscle relaxation, breathing exercises, cognitive restructuring, problem-solving, socialization skills, and guided self-dialogue that helps the individual cope better with the challenging events that they may face in their everyday lives.
Improving Communication Skills
Good communication is key to anger management as it reduces emotional hurt, misunderstandings, and conflict. Assertive communication skills help us to express ourselves better and clearly convey our wants, needs, and feelings to others without offending them or having to walk away with unmet expectations. Responding assertively with statements like “I” instead of aggressively with statements like “You”, may be more effective in getting your message across.
Get Help Now
Before it gets worst, let us help you process and validate your feelings, identify triggers, stressors, past grievances, and contributing factors that may have put you in distress leading to your anger. We will explore effective coping skills, and anger management skills or solutions that will help you excel better to meet your daily life demands and responsibilities effectively.
This article uses material from WebMD and other useful references for anxiety disorder. The article is for use of reference and information only, for specific diagnoses and treatment, please reach out to our licensed and/or certified professionals.